Chaos Dorm Move In

First-time college parent preparing to send your baby to university? Shopping and packing while weeping? The trek to college is emotional. My job as mama is to make myself obsolete, and to send into the world a young person whose company I dearly enjoy.

The empty nest was the most radical mental and physical shift for my soul. Each age or season held blessings and challenges, but we navigated things together. I’m an optimistic idealist with nostalgic tendencies, so partnering with my daughters means asking questions, honoring their ideals and insights, and walking next to them (not in front) as they discover who they are.

“It’s not 1995 anymore!” and I agree. I had my own college experiences then, and now it’s their time to explore. We have Life360 as a safety net, not a daily routine. They need space and freedom; they’ve learned social awareness to discern roomie nuances, and nurture new friends.

This year, my girls have 3 different August move-in dates, so I can be present until each has her bed all made up cozy, when she tells me it’s time for me to drive home.

Last year, with Amazing Race Chaos Dorm Move In, we had 3 apartment moves within 24 hours, 100 degree heat, 3-4 flights of stairs (sluggish or non-existent elevators), 12 roomies and families to meet, and everyone talking at once. It’s all too much.

Being transparent with my daughters was vital. They know I’m an introvert yet want to help for as much time as they would like, for as long as they would like me to stay. At one point, 11 adults with 5 students assembling things in 1 small dorm kitchen gave me a panic attack.

That’s why it was great to park across the campus and walk a while. “Oops! I forgot that bulletin board in the car!” I brought my sunglasses so I could cry while I walked. I took 10 minutes to wander and breathe sunshine along the path of trees where birds chirped. I lingered in the cool, quiet cafeteria for an iced coffee. Hot coffee plus vanilla ice cream swirl machine equaled a refreshing Italian affogato.

Revel in the beauty and pain, and write it on your heart that your young adult will also have their own special, most amazing experiences at college.