One more sunset

It’s a beautiful night for a stunning and lingering sunset —and the clouds always produce a more poignant effect. One more sunset and we start moving our 3 kids to college. This spot is a familiar and comforting place to spend a few hours, and my daughters are working tonight or with friends, so I find a bench and settle in for the scrimmage.

Sitting on the sidelines at a soccer field at my high school, facing west, often affords the best views. It’s the true sign autumn is almost here with men’s soccer officially starting in a week. This school year has already been tumultuous with rowdy students who are still struggling to settle down. They will get there and find focus as we establish routine.

My own 3 children are ready to go to college, and have nearly finished packing. If they need something once they’ve moved in, grocery stores and shopping centers are down the street. They know how to eat food that fuels their body and have water bottles, warm clothes, soft pillows, and textbooks. Pens, notebooks, and new laptops as graduation gifts.

How ready can we be in this day and age? 30 years ago this week I left home and it was a pretty simple event. Now we have programs and the weekend of welcome apps and scheduled drop-offs. It’s all so organized.

But still, my emotional heart aches. I have never felt this way before. It’s a different feeling than raw grief and searing loss, which is unrelenting. It’s a different feeling knowing they will return in a few months and will have changed — and I so love their company and won’t be next to them as they change.

As it should be. Those who profoundly shaped me in college did so as their own iron sharpening iron. All of us floundering together.

I knew raising 3 so close together meant 3 young adults ready for the world all-at-once.

I will miss our chats, listening to music in the car, eating meals together at the kitchen table, playing games, laughing, talking about life! It brings me joy to know you are each following your calling, and taking classes to help fulfill your dreams and career goals.