Sometimes grief looks like

Grief doesn’t always look like grief.

It disguises itself in addiction, acting out, anger, sarcasm, toxic friends, impatience, isolation. That’s the short list of some expressions of my own grief.

Grief — for me — can be defined as the death of a family member, extinction of a relationship, loss of innocence, internal battle of one’s faith vs reality, inherited patterns, or any number of emotional struggles I’ve faced, and so on.

As I consider the myriad of ways various grief has manifested in my heart and consider my actions over the years, I see the way it shapes my mind and perceptions.

Just being aware of it doesn’t always bring healing, but helps me reflect on the different shapes and forms of grief and understand the presence of other emotional motivators and the realization that I can

—

step back, step away, take the time I need, make space, break a pattern, hold off for a moment, create a better habit, and lead in new ways for my daughters, to model mental health.

And to sit with it for a bit and try to move forward with a greater capacity for peace, self-love, compassion, and grace. Even offering myself grace, because I always do that last.